Eh. Being indifferent towards life
Does it matter?
I have never really been a fan of anything really. I do not support sport teams or advocate for any social cause that are not humanitarian. I never really belonged to a group of people that were enthusiastic about a certain interest. I like what I like, but I could not care enough to strongly stand by it. I sometimes envy those who show such vehement passions. A passion by which they will swear. A passion so strong that causes a feud towards others that do not share the same belief.
Nihilism, callousness, blasé, nonchalant and apathy are terms that describe my attitude towards life. Nothing really matters in the end, and there is famous Italian proverb that I constantly remind myself of:
Ignorant Quote
At the End of the Game, the King and the Pawn go back in the Same Box.
I first heard this quote while watching House of Cards. A series that has moulded many of my mindsets. The series developed my mindset, and though the controversy surrounding Keven Spacey, his portrayal of Frank Underwood was masterful. In a future post I will explore the lessons I learnt from the show, and how I use its teaching to navigate life.
Nevertheless, the quote reminds me of the lack of meaning material items have in this world. This is a case that has been said by countless philosophers and gurus before my time. That the objects and desires we as a civilisation murder and enslave over are merely fleeting and futile. Religious texts reiterate this concept and by doing so promise an afterlife of eternal paradise. Though it is strange when thinking about it. If the material items in this world are meaningless, what makes the joys of the next life meaningful? Is it the premise of this world being temporary, and the next being eternal? But the concept of eternity is a torment in itself, even if filled with otherworldly desires.
Well, what matters is not a question that needs an answer. If everything matters or nothing at all, the only certainty we have is death.
Is this why I am nihilistic, callous, blasé, and nonchalant?
I am indifferent to it all. I am the opposite of being opinionated. My views on modern matters are often non existent. That is not to say that I do not care about what is happening around the world. The atrocities, the injustices and struggles of individuals and groups are all major concerns, and as a history graduate, I am well aware of the profoundness that these matters have in affecting the world. However, on the same token, I am aware as a historian that these events have happened countless times before. That the struggles of the past will repeat in the present and the future. That the human experience of finding love, bearing grief, and encountering hardships will remain fundamentally the same, despite the innovative technologies that attempt to govern us.
Whatever you are going through, someone, in a different timeline, has experienced something similar. Similar, but not the same. Every experience is unique, yet so similar at the same time. There is beauty in shared experiences.
This is to say, I believe the reason for my callousness derives from not being strongly opinionated. Most first world problems are not problems. We have created issues for ourselves for the purpose of feeling like we matter. For the feeling of concern that generates a false need to function as if our lives, or someone else’s lives, are in danger. This sense of endangerment causes an outrage, and due to the invention of social media, it is spread across globally.
Having our basic needs met is a fortunate circumstance, since many still struggle for sufficient safety and nutrition. So, when I say I am apathetic, this is towards the topics that have little to no meaning in the wider scheme of things. My blasé mood is a response to numerous inconveniences that do not significantly affect my life. When things do not go my way, when someone cuts me off in traffic or takes the last Popeyes’ chicken sandwich, I do not complain and find the nearest person to pour my unrequested concerns to. Instead, I shrug my shoulders and remind myself that everything outside basic needs are a luxury.
Being empathetic
I realise I am being insensitive, and therefore I am developing my emotional intelligence. For a long time, I could not strongly connect with people because of this nihilistic view. Currently, I am aware of individual experiences and the importance of validating the emotions of others. This is empathy, and regardless of if someone else may have it harder, a person’s situation is special to them. Whether it minor or major, listening to someone else’s concerns is often all they need to feel heard and comfortable. It is our role as people to support those where we can, even if they are complaining to you about how the barista got their order wrong.
